Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Human Place

Ten days of seclusion and getting to what I feel a more Human place. It is a workshop of the mind to confront yourself in isolation and stay out of everyone else's business no ifs ands or buts about it. Courage to be launched into space and just Left There for awhile and with the feeling you just might not be brought back. You go through cycles of euphoria and panic and somehow come out saner on the other end. I will be spending good careful sessions writing and contemplating over this, and sharing it.

I am actually still at the retreat center since today as we were about to drive away the car would not start (in trance still). We'll have it towed into the city for some love tomorrow and I'm eager to get back home to dive into continued meditations, writing, reading, and yes, resume work again.

I will be posting pictures of the beautiful place here on Facebook, later on Flickr. If you haven't added me yet on FB, soon my handle there will be bgkarma, so keep an eye out, and as Garrison says it best: "Do good work, and stay in touch..."

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

At The Movies

an end to
my vacation

tomorrow
work begins

that thing I been talking on
Vipassana, ten day
radio silence
heightened awareness
altered states
sitting in the dark
no drugs or
TV or slasher flix
in system...
just You
(if you can handle that)

some wish me luck,
others like:
"Go fuck yourself"
which at
times I'm sure
I'll feel is exactly
what's happening

the great art of
self/non-self peering

dependent co-arising...
this is what
I was trying to explain
to the young man
from Chicago earlier
the right words
were not rising

I just woke from
this dream
someone at a bar
teaching me with a
needle how
to close shut
a cloth wound;
but was interrupted

my own movies gush out
every time Yorke
puts it down like
Where I End and You Begin,
Climbing Up The Walls, Electioneering...
the rapture
and talk of energy swirls
known as Chakras
skybursts
I heard if you
burst to tears
they send you on a
time out
to the
courtyard

okay
walk around a bit
turn over
rocks

a grand detox
no Bob Dylan
or Trip Hop
Wu-Tang, KRS,
Talib... etc.
no Dharma Bum
audiobooks...

no listing

a departure

all words
constructed by careful
mind to each letter
is how I
remember the
penning of cursive

all experience
as
Rising

rising up making an
appearance for
awhile

the sun

the soil wetted,
cloud treatment

zombies
walking for a cancer cure

ask them:
"why outbreak?
why is this happening?
nuclear testing?
a drunk, a punchup at a wedding...?"

they'll not say

"Blood crawls
across the cancer"
—Black Mountain

dependent...

creep everyone out

this life and anger
more I try to understand it
I'm lighter and lighter
bring myself
to a high side

function
still
upright
high percentage

forgive and let live
first we gotta live with
ourselves
knowing even others
won't forgive us
and so how?
grows heavy to think on
some cabins
turn to bacon
clouds get so spread thin
they pass on out then it's over